The Call of Agony

image of a by fastreflex. Courtesy of artatm

image of a by fastreflex. Courtesy of artatm

I had been brave enough to kill a fly, but at this moment I feel very much that my anger could let me kill a man. My soul feels so much shattered like a mirror purposely crashed by the lunatic or a man on his worse, I mean worst behaviour.

Believe me when I say am on a solidary confinement situation, healing the wound of ‘am sorry we got to stop this affair at this very moment’. Every man feels his world had stopped, when heart crushing words like this come in contact with his ears. I never seen tears come out of the man’s eyes before instead men cry on the inside, a situation like this on my side was really inescapable. Like Toni Braxton masterpiece I had to be a man about it, had to abide by the words after an ultimate fight with my inside man; my inner most thoughts. Surely, if you were in my shoes you would have exploded, lost your senses or let it varnish through the thin air. Unfortunately, it all happened to yours truly, you can only feel this if you walk a mile in my feet gnawing shoes.

It all came expected but not wishing for its course. Damn, it dawned on me that nobody can ever change the course of Karma; it doesn’t matter whether you are expecting it or not, it’s an undertaker it doesn’t matter who you are, its main concern is to bury you six feet beneath the surface. It has every thing all planned according to its irreversible will. It was hurting, as if someone was holding a large magnet of miseries over me. In this case, you would even feel that the presence of God, Jesus and angels is an illusion. The situation is paralytic; whenever I blink I develop hallucinations of the picture of my own emotional accomplice. A single though of her haunts me like a worst nightmare, imagine thousands am having every minute I blink. All trapped in her love spell, the misery had invaded my thoughts. The conflict in my heart has taken its course; an ultimate battle of conscience.

At this very moment, I feel am worthy of being in a testifying booth in the court of love. A real casualty of an emotional war, that’s what describes me best. The right witness of the first hand information.

Ops! I almost forgot to let you know I have been granted a sick leave from my job as a lover, due to my severe pistanthrophobic condition. To cure this condition, I surely think a spirit walk would be the answer to my gigantic woes. This is a well learned lesson, besides I chose that fate. This is my ship that I’m drowning in, so I must sink with it; I made this bed of thorns, so I must lie on it. I crafted a pledge emblem in my heart of ‘so help me God to never call this relationship off, even in my worst drunken state.’

Eish, I have to throw away this whip am punishing myself with and answer my phone now, someone is calling me. Don’t go anywhere I will be back!


About moratehimashinini

Limkokwing University of Creative Technology alumnae, studied Journalism.
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